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The Future of Online Dating Is Unsexy and Brutally Effective The Future of Online Dating Is Unsexy and Brutally Effective

When I give the dating app LoveFlutter my Twitter handle, it rewards me with a 28-axis breakdown of my personality: I’m an analytic Type A who’s unsettlingly sex-focused and neurotic (99th percentile). On the sidebar where my “Personality Snapshot” is broken down in further detail, a section called “Chat-Up Advice”…

Goodbye Shade Court, For Real This Time Goodbye Shade Court, For Real This Time

Well folks, this is it. I now find it difficult to even remember the origins of Shade Court, though I do clearly remember, like many things in my life, it was born out of my frustration. Frustration at watching publication after publication misuse this wonderful, beautiful word and all the rudeness and arrogance it…

Kristi Yamaguchi Meant No Harm By that 'Break a Leg' Tweet to Nancy Kerrigan Kristi Yamaguchi Meant No Harm By that 'Break a Leg' Tweet to Nancy Kerrigan

On Monday, Kristi Yamaguchi sent a tweet wishing her dear friend Nancy Kerrigan good luck on her upcoming debut on that TV show with the celebrities and the dancing. “Break a leg!” it said. Interesting word choice, given Nancy Kerrigan’s history, but it’s all good. Kristi didn’t mean any harm!

Random Strangers Cannot Get Enough of That D in Ariana Grande's New Video With Future

“Everyday” is a three-minute-long chorus about how some dude is dicking down Ariana on the daily and it makes her happy. Good for her, with her high and breathy voice! It’s also nice that all the randoms in this video are so overcome by lust that they don’t care where they demonstrate their PDA, and that they are all…

Ciara Drops Libel Case Against Future Because She's Making Too Much Money Ciara Drops Libel Case Against Future Because She's Making Too Much Money

Ciara’s legal battles with her Future, the father of her child Future Zahir Wilburn are coming to an end just as her career as a brand ambassador for Revlon begins. What curious timing!

Drake Understandably Upset About Someone Stealing His Friend Future's Jewelry Drake Understandably Upset About Someone Stealing His Friend Future's Jewelry

While best friends Drake and Future were performing in Phoenix, Arizona on Tuesday night, a thief (or thieves) broke into one of the rappers’ tour buses and stole a briefcase containing what TMZ reports amounted to “2 to 3 million dollars in bling.”

Ciara and Future Are Reportedly Headed Toward Joint Custody of Baby Future

A judge is reportedly leaning toward awarding Ciara and Future joint custody of their son Future Zahir Wilburn, who will turn two on Thursday, according to TMZ. Ciara has been lobbying for sole custody of their child, in addition to filing a $15 million defamation suit that is meant to keep her name out dad Future’s…

Future Calls Ciara's Last Album a 'Flop' in Counter Suit Future Calls Ciara's Last Album a 'Flop' in Counter Suit

The next stage in this ugly war between co-parents slash ex-lovers Ciara and Future continues with a lawsuit in which Future describes his ex-fiancée’s last album as a “flop.”

I Am Watching This Video of Ciara Refusing to Say Future's Name On Repeat

Ciara and Ludacris, hosts of this year’s Billboard Music Awards, announced the finalists (Billboard calls them “finalists,” not “nominees”) live on GMA Monday morning. But even though their job (to read a list of names) was a simple one, there was one finalist that Ciara’s lips were incapable of uttering.

Ciara Files $15 Million Defamation Suit Against Future for Calling Her a Bad Mom

Since Ciara and Future broke up in August 2014, it’s the rapper who’s had the most to say about it, up to and including his most recent album EVOL, which includes numerous allusions to what could be construed as his ex. (On “Little Haiti Baby,” he raps, “You want an R&B chick? Shawty, it ain’t nothin’ to get her.”)

Future Tweets About Child Custody Issues With Ciara: 'This Bitch Got Control Problems' Future Tweets About Child Custody Issues With Ciara: 'This Bitch Got Control Problems'

Rapper Future went on a brief Twitter tirade Monday alluding to child custody disagreements with his ex-fiancé Ciara. The two have one child together named Future and I feel that it’s necessary to note that Future is the rapper’s stage name.

Future's NYE Tour Rider Includes 'White Cheddar Popcorn' and 'Scented Candles' Future's NYE Tour Rider Includes 'White Cheddar Popcorn' and 'Scented Candles'

Future is playing a show at New York City megaclub Pacha for New Year’s, and TMZ sourced a bit of his rider. Not only is he pulling $200,000 for his performance, he’s also nabbing the real 2015 gold: “two large bags of white cheddar popcorn.”

The Tangled Relationship Web That Kylie Jenner and Tyga Hath Wrought, Visualized The Tangled Relationship Web That Kylie Jenner and Tyga Hath Wrought, Visualized

For a brief day and a half the world thought it had rid itself of the romance between a grown man who pronounces his name like a baby and a teen with a mansion. We were not so lucky.

Future Makes It Up to Blac Chyna With an, Um, Affectionate New Music Video 

Have you been wondering where exactly the maybe-relationship between Blac Chyna and Future stands? Probably not, but the answer to our non-question has been answered with Future’s new video for “Rich Sex.”

Kim Kardashian on Being Pregnant: 'I'm Feeling Like a Fucking Whale' Kim Kardashian on Being Pregnant: 'I'm Feeling Like a Fucking Whale'

It’s rare that I get to sincerely compliment a Kardashian, so let’s savor this moment: It’s pretty refreshing how much Kim Kardashian openly hates being pregnant. As she recently put it on her website, “I’m feeling like a fucking whale.”

What Is Going On With Blac Chyna's New Tattoo?  What Is Going On With Blac Chyna's New Tattoo? 

Blac Chyna has had an eventful year or so. Tyga, the idiot father of her child, left her to be with another another child—Kylie Jenner. That poor decision spurred a back and forth social media war in which we saw no winners.

What a Time to Be Alive: Jezebel's 67th Emmys Liveblog, Forever What a Time to Be Alive: Jezebel's 67th Emmys Liveblog, Forever

Here we are, on the biggest night in the entire world and/or since last night: the 67th Annual Primetime Emmys. Will they be as shitshow as last year’s, or will they be an even shittiershow? Maybe all of that! The Jezebel staff will be exploring these and more important questions all night in our liveblog, sponsored…

Car Thief Leads Cops Through Chase, Then Dances to Future’s 'Where Ya At' Car Thief Leads Cops Through Chase, Then Dances to Future’s 'Where Ya At'

Sometimes when a song is so good, you can’t help yourself from showing off some moves, even if you’re running from the cops. On Wednesday night, a woman stole a car and was chased by police through downtown Los Angeles. The suspect was weaving in and out of traffic and running through red lights. Her joy ride finally…

Y/N: Willow Smith Wants Me to Join Her Cult, I Think

Weekly-ish, a pre-approved, snap-judged music guide based on our very scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system. There’s really no debating this, come on stop.

Y/N: Do You Wanna Party With the 'Classic Man' Jidenna?

Weekly-ish, a pre-approved, snap-judged music guide based on our very scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system. There’s really no debating this, come on stop.

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